Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Stuff I Found While Cleaning My Room

Found some fascinating stuff while trying to clean out my room yesterday...

Art Class Astro-Medallion Necklace Thing

I vaguely remember making this in a junior high art class many years ago, but I don't recall many details about the task. I can say with some confidence that there is no deep symbolism behind the blue sun emblem, which was more of a "this would look cool" effort than a "this blue sun is a metaphor for my deep-rooted pre-teen angst as interpreted through the ancient symbolism of Zoroastrianism" effort. I can say with more confidence that this necklace was made during Period 7 in the school day, since there is a "p.7" next to my name on the back.

Eagle Scout

I include this item not to brag, but rather to record documented evidence that I am indeed an Eagle Scout, because once the Boy Scouts of America learn how much I have forgotten since those days, my award will be confiscated post-haste. I might also mention that listing the award on my resume did actually get me a job in December of 1997.

Hunter Thompson Book

I have a love/hate relationship with Hunter S. Thompson. On the one hand, his fast-paced Gonzo prose style and love of the open road-typified by Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas-appeals to me as a writer and a traveler. On the other hand, his bigoted commentary on my faith in the wake of the 2002 Olympic scandal left me with an understandably bad taste in my mouth. Just think Dennis Rodman with a typewriter. When I found this book in my dresser I re-read the aforementioned column, noting with irony his declaration that the 2002 Olympic Games would be a "financial disaster," a "monumental failure", and a "train wreck."

There's not going to be a follow-up column apologizing, though; Thompson shot himself in February of 2005.

Random Keys

It's very possible that these keys go to the Sunday School closets at the University Institute. It's considerably less possible that they are the keys to a secret series of progressively smaller treasure chests that will eventually reveal a vial of magic beans that grant the user X-Ray vision and a heightened taste in Jazz music. Either way, I should probably give them back, since I was released as 32nd Ward Sunday School President in December of 2005.

Martin Sexton Ticket

I went to a dozen concerts in 2008, and did a blog write-up on every one of them except this one. I was pretty bent out of shape after the Martin Sexton concert at The Depot last Halloween. I figured no one would want to go with me, so my plan was to hit the concert solo, then roll into my friends' costume party right around it's peak at 11PM. Since the time on my ticket said 8PM, I thought that was a reasonable plan, even with an opening act. Instead, 8PM turned out to be the time the doors were supposed to open (though they really opened at 8:15), the opening act came on at 9PM and played for 45 minutes, and Sexton didn't even take the stage until 10:35PM. Sexton did play a decent rendition of "Glory Bound", but even after leaving midway through the encore, I still didn't make it to the Halloween party until well after midnight, just in time to get a lot of strange looks from friends wondering at my absurdly fashionable late arrival as they were making their way out the front door.

James Brown Ticket

On the other hand, this concert was awesome. Back in the spring of 2004, my longtime buddy Steve and I were able to catch JB at the Vegas House of Blues about three years before he died on Christmas of 2006. Brown was the consummate showman, even though his show was a little bit limited due to the fact that he was already into his early 70's at the time. My only regret: sitting in the balcony instead of going down on the floor. We should have been getting down with our bad selves at the feet of the master; instead we had a row of middle-aged ladies yelling at us to sit down so they could see.

Mission Tie

Sometime during my stretch in South Chicago during the summer of 1997 I decided I should wear the same tie every day until I was released as a missionary. Sometime after that I decided I didn't even need to bother untying it at the end of the day. Sometime after that I decided I should shove it in a drawer instead of pack it into the garbage can.

Ohio University Bill

A while back I got a bill for student fees from Ohio University. Nothing strange there, aside from the fact that Ohio University had rejected my enrollment application two years earlier. Talk about adding insult to injury. I'd never even so much as set foot on campus. Turned out to be a clerical error.

Farmington Ticket

Just in case anyone still hadn't heard, if you come across a patrol car who has stopped someone on the highway, you are legally obligated to move over a lane to give the officer additional room. I learned about this law the hard way on the way home from a date one night a few years back when a patrolman ditched the car he'd already pulled over so he could chase me down and punish me for my heinous violation.

Finger Brace

Two summers ago I dislocated and lacerated my right index finger playing volleyball, of all things. I was able to pop my finger back into place on the scene, but I had to go to the hospital to get stitched up, and then they sent me to physical therapy where I got this finger brace and met a cute brunette therapy assistant named Dani who was unfortunately involved in a long-term relationship.

Timing...it's all about timing. And cleaning, apparently.