One thing I miss about not doing the Cafe anymore is being paid to look up zany news stories and video clips. For example, last weekend I came across this article about two guys who were fired from their jobs in Yellowstone National Park because they decided to take a whiz in Old Faithful.
Now, I would expect that the effect of human urine on a geyser that has been erupting for thousands of years would be pretty minimal, but the park folks still pulled the trigger on a $750 fine, and banished one of the employees for two years. According to the story, Cheech and Chong were caught because someone saw them on a webcam. Score one for Big Brother.
I'm just disappointed that they didn't pull this stunt last year. It would have offered some great material for my Yellowstone film. Random acts of indescretionary peeing always do.
At the same time, maybe the two ex-park employees can now embark on a new career: Stunt Whizzing. Every month or two, they pick out a random location of either public or private significance, and mount a sneak attack. It would be like BASE jumping, except not nearly as dangerous, and as long as it was something relatively harmless (like peeing into a high-pressure semi-volcanic geyser), pretty darn funny. They could sell T-shirts online to offset the fines.
That's really the key to life, folks: turning lemons into lemonade. Or in this case...whatever.