1. November 3rd, 2007: Halfway through The Last Starfighter's performance of "Money" at the U32 Ward Talent Show (Not the Pink Floyd version; our own original song), I perform my first ragged drum solo.
2. November 17th, 2007: After ducking out of the ward service auction, I dance in a crowd of oddballs at the feet of the B-52’s at The Depot in Salt Lake City.3. November 22nd, 2007: 10 years to the day after returning from my mission to Chicago, I catch a touchdown pass in my first Turkey Bowl in four years.
4. November 25th, 2007: After figuring out how to render old VHS tapes onto my computer, I watch a taped interview with my grandparents from my 12th birthday party.
5. November 29th, 2007: After a lifetime of musical influence, my entire family attends our first concert together when we see Billy Joel perform at Energy Solutions Arena.
6. December 15th, 2007: Following a Red Iguana dinner and a tour of Temple Square, a dozen of my close friends and our dates gather in my living room and fight over a two foot white porcelain cockatoo while Darlene Love’s “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” plays in the background.
7. January 4th, 2008: Three hours after entering the Thaifoon at The Gateway, my date and I are still at our table chatting away when a vacuum cleaner starts in the distance.8. January 6th, 2008: While transitioning into my new graveyard work schedule, I stagger up to the U32 pulpit during fast and testimony meeting and out Katie and John’s dating status in the middle of a sleep-deprived ramble.
9. January 21st, 2008: Andy Waits says "the KJZZ Cafe is now open for business" live for the first time, and I officially become a TV producer. The next day Scott Pierce of the Deseret News rips us a new hole. Ten months later, we're still going strong.
10. February 2nd, 2008: I drive through Bountiful to Grandma Terry's funeral listening to The Stones play "Shine a Light".
11. March 8th, 2008: On a sunny day in winter, Dad and I weave a red Honda S-2000 at 85mph through Saturday traffic on I-15 with the top down.12. March 17th, 2008: High up in the upper bowl, I jump up and snag one of those promotional balls that are fired up from the court via slingshot at Jazz games. My one-handed grab becomes a symbolic transitional point in a difficult year.
13. March 20th, 2008: Breto and I get down with 150 other people in Kilby Court in Salt Lake while Jonathan Richman plays "I was Dancing in the Lesbian Bar" a few feet away.
14. March 23rd, 2008: A number of confused ward members laugh as Bishop Greg Kjar sustains me as the U32 English Tutor.
15. April 11th, 2008: An employee at Barbacoa gives me a free lemonade because I had to wait for the transition between the breakfast and lunch menus. Within the hour I am at home enjoying one in a long line of Barbacoa burrito bowls w/pinto beans, spicy pork, two scoops of Pico de Gallo, and one scoop of the hot sauce.
16. April 13th, 2008: After giving an abridged talk at the U32, Mike Driggs tells me he’s never heard anyone refer to dropping acid in a sacrament meeting before.
17. April 22nd, 2008: As I complete a wait that began in the seventh grade, I stand in Randy’s office and try on the pair of Air Jordan IV’s I ordered off eBay…and discover that they are about a half-size too small.18. May 16th, 2008: I stand in a crowd of 20,000 raging fans in Energy Solutions Arena prior to Game 6 of the Jazz-Lakers series as the pre-game intensity rises to a level I haven't ever experienced in any previous playoff game.
19. June 13th, 2008: After taking Katie around Salt Lake following a string of elaborate clues, I give her a hug and drop her off at the entrance of Red Butte Gardens, where John is waiting to propose by the duck pond.
20. June 18th, 2008: Randy and I enjoy a genuine Chicago Deep Dish Pizza at the Rush Street Giordano’s.
21. June 20th, 2008: Five minutes after grabbing a table at the Blue Chicago, the John Primer Blues Band whips into a cover of Ben E. King's "Stand By Me", and I lay eyes on one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen sitting at the next table...drinking a beer with her parents.
22. June 21st, 2008: I confront director George Lucas at a Michigan Avenue Nordstrom's after he's done trying on a topcoat and mumble an awkward "thank you" while shaking his hand.
23. July 18th, 2008: Heath Ledger pulls the “pencil trick” in “Dark Knight”, and as I leave the Gateway Theater I realize that I want to act again.24. July 30th, 2008: I stand in a small group with three of my longtime friends at the Usana Amphitheater while Joe Cocker sings “With a Little Help from My Friends”.
25. August 1st, 2008: I make my live television debut on the KJZZ Café, doing a short editorial about Techno-Zombies.
26. August 25th, 2008: I sit alone atop a mountain in Island Park, Idaho and watch the sun rise over Henry's Lake.
27. September 11th, 2008: On a perfect night in early fall, I pull out a borrowed HD video camera and record Katie and John as they dance to the music of a professional jazz combo.
28. September 15th, 2008: While driving home from my right-leaning morning show on the newly opened Legacy Highway, I head to Wal Mart and totally embody Rocky Anderson’s worst nightmare.
29. September 27th, 2008: I take aim at an apple with Glock 9mm near Francis Peak in Farmington and in a moment of rare accuracy, blow it to smithereens.
30. October 7th, 2008: Several hundred fans and I jump up and down in a suffocating mass at the feet of Rivers Cuomo, singing along to “Pork and Beans” at the Weezer concert.
31. October 18th, 2008: I watch Bruce Campbell laugh as he takes a chainsaw to his possessed hand in “Evil Dead II” during Zombie Fest 2008.---
Of course these weren't all my favorite memories from the year I was 31. I don't put everything on the Internet.
And neither should you.
Here's to 32.
