I'm not sure where I got the idea (or the motivation) to do this, but over the last couple of weeks I've been putting together a highlight reel of some of my favorite movie clips. Like I said, I'm not sure why I did it, but I do know that it's been a lot of fun to see so many of my favorite moments in close succession. I'm sure you'll recognize a lot of these clips, but if any seem unfamiliar, let me know and I'll tell you where to find them. Even if you don't recognize them, I'm sure that half a dozen of these will make you smile, if not more.
Just so you know, there is a touch of PG/PG-13 level language in a few of the clips.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Carrie Fisher is the Center of the Universe
Last week I dropped by the Davis County Library to check out some new reading material, and picked up a copy of Carrie Fisher's recent memoir, "Wishful Drinking." It was a pretty eye-opening account of a woman born to a pair of 1950's Hollywood celebrities who went on to deal with substance abuse, manic depression, and the eternal burden of an iron bikini.
I finished the book by the end of the day. The next day, her celebrity father died.
I don't think there was a connection.
What was even stranger, though, was realizing just how central a role Carrie Fisher has played in my pop culture universe:
1. Carrie Fisher played Princess Leia in "Star Wars."
The first "Star Wars" film came out six months after I was born, and I spent the first ten years of my life wanting to be Han Solo when I grew up. While I never quite developed the same crush on Princess Leia as some of my fellow peer-nerds, that infamous gold bikini from "Return of the Jedi" might explain why I never went through that early childhood phase where boys think girls have cooties. Not that it helped any.
2. Carrie Fisher played John Belushi's estranged ex-fiancee in "The Blues Brothers."
If "Star Wars" is the keystone of my appreciation of science fiction, "The Blues Brothers" is the keystone of my appreciation for comedy. When I was a kid, "The Blues Brothers" was that cool movie on cable where they have a car chase in a mall. In high school, it became the foundation for my deep appreciation for soul and blues music. By the time I left on an LDS mission to Chicago, the film had a flat-out divine import. A mission from God, indeed.
3. Carrie Fisher was married to Paul Simon.
Before "The Blues Brothers" solidified my R&B roots, my parents raised me on a steady diet of Motown and Simon & Garfunkel. To this day, "Mrs. Robinson" instantly links me to memories of our family Honda weaving through Douglas Fir trees in Yellowstone National Park, even though the song itself was written in Greenwich Village, New York. I still maintain that Paul Simon is the greatest songwriter of the late 20th Century (even though he truly needed Garfunkel to bring his best stuff to fruition). Carrie Fisher would probably agree with me.
Moreover, Ms. Fisher is an accomplished writer (four other novels to date) and stage performer (the memoir was adapted from a live comic performance she used to do...or may still do. I don't know, the book came out two years ago.) With all those different interests, Carrie Fisher, like Steve Martin and Woody Allen, is nothing more than a considerably more successful version of me.
(uncomfortable silence...)
Yep, that pretty much says it.
I don't think there was a connection.
What was even stranger, though, was realizing just how central a role Carrie Fisher has played in my pop culture universe:
1. Carrie Fisher played Princess Leia in "Star Wars."
The first "Star Wars" film came out six months after I was born, and I spent the first ten years of my life wanting to be Han Solo when I grew up. While I never quite developed the same crush on Princess Leia as some of my fellow peer-nerds, that infamous gold bikini from "Return of the Jedi" might explain why I never went through that early childhood phase where boys think girls have cooties. Not that it helped any.
2. Carrie Fisher played John Belushi's estranged ex-fiancee in "The Blues Brothers."
If "Star Wars" is the keystone of my appreciation of science fiction, "The Blues Brothers" is the keystone of my appreciation for comedy. When I was a kid, "The Blues Brothers" was that cool movie on cable where they have a car chase in a mall. In high school, it became the foundation for my deep appreciation for soul and blues music. By the time I left on an LDS mission to Chicago, the film had a flat-out divine import. A mission from God, indeed.
3. Carrie Fisher was married to Paul Simon.
Before "The Blues Brothers" solidified my R&B roots, my parents raised me on a steady diet of Motown and Simon & Garfunkel. To this day, "Mrs. Robinson" instantly links me to memories of our family Honda weaving through Douglas Fir trees in Yellowstone National Park, even though the song itself was written in Greenwich Village, New York. I still maintain that Paul Simon is the greatest songwriter of the late 20th Century (even though he truly needed Garfunkel to bring his best stuff to fruition). Carrie Fisher would probably agree with me.
Moreover, Ms. Fisher is an accomplished writer (four other novels to date) and stage performer (the memoir was adapted from a live comic performance she used to do...or may still do. I don't know, the book came out two years ago.) With all those different interests, Carrie Fisher, like Steve Martin and Woody Allen, is nothing more than a considerably more successful version of me.
(uncomfortable silence...)
Yep, that pretty much says it.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Further On Up the Road: 2010 Epic Summer Film
For anyone who wasn't able to make it out to Sugarhouse Park last weekend, here is my submission for the 2010 Epic Summer Film Festival, "Further On Up the Road:"
Unlike my previous Epic Summer submissions, I didn't go for the mockumentary this time. This piece is more an attempt to tie together the different interests I was pursuing over the summer, and pull out some kind of common theme. Near as I can tell, the common theme was Rock and Roll. From the band I played in to the bands I photographed to the road trips I took, music seemed to play a dominant role in the experience, much more so than humor, anyway.
A number of people thought I should have identified all the locations in the photos and video clips in the film. Since I didn't, I'll list some of them below:
If anyone has a specific question about any of the images or clips, feel free to leave a comment.
Unlike my previous Epic Summer submissions, I didn't go for the mockumentary this time. This piece is more an attempt to tie together the different interests I was pursuing over the summer, and pull out some kind of common theme. Near as I can tell, the common theme was Rock and Roll. From the band I played in to the bands I photographed to the road trips I took, music seemed to play a dominant role in the experience, much more so than humor, anyway.
A number of people thought I should have identified all the locations in the photos and video clips in the film. Since I didn't, I'll list some of them below:
- Arches National Park
- Canyonlands National Park
- Seattle, Washington
- The Jimi Hendrix Memorial, Washington
- Sturgis, South Dakota
- Devils Tower National Monument, Wyoming
- Mount Rushmore National Monument, South Dakota
- Cody, Wyoming
- Quake Lake, Montana
- Antelope Island, Utah
- The Layton City Amphitheater
- The Bountiful Days of '47 Parade
- Yellowstone National Park
If anyone has a specific question about any of the images or clips, feel free to leave a comment.
A KISS Conversion?
Some of my favorite moments in life are the ones you never see coming. Not that they are particularly great or wonderful, just that they are so far from anything you expected when you woke up that morning.
I have a new moment for the list.
Last Wednesday night, about 10:30PM, I was standing with my buddy Chidsey on the west end of Rio Tinto Stadium in section 17 under a full moon as KISS blasted out the chords to "God Gave Rock and Roll to You" on a brilliantly-lit stage fifty yards away.
This moment is improbable for several reasons, including:
1. I am not a KISS fan.
2. As recently as 4:37PM that afternoon, I had no knowledge of KISS's plans to play a concert in Sandy, Utah that evening (let alone any intention of attending).
Yet, the moment came together. Somebody gave Chidsey a couple of extra tickets to the concert, and Chidsey gave me a call at the precise moment when spending an evening watching four middle-aged men in stage makeup rock out to a collection of innuendo-driven 1970's anthems like "Love Gun" sounded like a perfect idea.
So after two hours and 20 tracks of exposure to the full KISS experience, I still can't quite call myself a fan, much less a full-fledged member of the KISS Army. But I have a much better idea of why the Army digs them so much. Why they get dressed up to go to their concerts. Why they go crazy when the automated stage lifts the drummer's kit forty feet in the air and shoots steam out the bottom to make it look like it's about to blast off into the stratosphere.
Something about those old guys in eight-inch platform boots is pretty fun. Something about them bringing some veterans on stage to present an oversized donation check, then leading us in the Pledge of Allegiance while guitarist Tommy Thayer waves a fifteen-foot American flag is kind of cool. And something about lead singer and "Star Child" Paul Stanley repeatedly referencing the band's new album "Sonic Boom" and how you can get it exclusively at Walmart reminds me that even though we all like to take rock and roll seriously, we really shouldn't. Especially when a harness lifts 61-year-old Gene Simmons to the top of the stage scaffolding so he can spit blood and play his axe-shaped bass guitar at us from fifty feet in the air.
Almost, thou persuadest me to be a KISS fan...
I'm still not much of a fan of KISS's music. But last night I became a big fan of the KISS Experience.
I have a new moment for the list.
Last Wednesday night, about 10:30PM, I was standing with my buddy Chidsey on the west end of Rio Tinto Stadium in section 17 under a full moon as KISS blasted out the chords to "God Gave Rock and Roll to You" on a brilliantly-lit stage fifty yards away.
This moment is improbable for several reasons, including:
1. I am not a KISS fan.
2. As recently as 4:37PM that afternoon, I had no knowledge of KISS's plans to play a concert in Sandy, Utah that evening (let alone any intention of attending).
Yet, the moment came together. Somebody gave Chidsey a couple of extra tickets to the concert, and Chidsey gave me a call at the precise moment when spending an evening watching four middle-aged men in stage makeup rock out to a collection of innuendo-driven 1970's anthems like "Love Gun" sounded like a perfect idea.
So after two hours and 20 tracks of exposure to the full KISS experience, I still can't quite call myself a fan, much less a full-fledged member of the KISS Army. But I have a much better idea of why the Army digs them so much. Why they get dressed up to go to their concerts. Why they go crazy when the automated stage lifts the drummer's kit forty feet in the air and shoots steam out the bottom to make it look like it's about to blast off into the stratosphere.
Almost, thou persuadest me to be a KISS fan...
I'm still not much of a fan of KISS's music. But last night I became a big fan of the KISS Experience.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Epic Summer: Deleted Sequence
Tomorrow night I will be participating in my fourth Epic Summer Film Festival up in Sugarhouse Park. It's an annual event where a bunch of laid-back folks hang out and watch amateur films about outdoor adventure and humanitarian efforts. Very cool vibe. A buddy of mine turned me on to the event four years ago after we hiked The Subway together, and I've been a participant in the festival ever since.
This year's submission, "Further On Up the Road," is probably the most "epic" of my films so far, in this case attempting to capture the events of an entire season instead of a single hike or road trip. Even so, at the end of the editing day, some pieces don't quite fit into the final product. One of my favorite things about the summer season is making fresh salsa, and I put the following sequence together in the hopes of working it into the film.
As much as I love fresh salsa, I couldn't find a good way to work this footage into the final film logically. But I don't want it to go to waste, and I'm kind of bummed about summer being over, so here you go. If you love fresh salsa, it is kind of fun to watch.
This year's submission, "Further On Up the Road," is probably the most "epic" of my films so far, in this case attempting to capture the events of an entire season instead of a single hike or road trip. Even so, at the end of the editing day, some pieces don't quite fit into the final product. One of my favorite things about the summer season is making fresh salsa, and I put the following sequence together in the hopes of working it into the film.
As much as I love fresh salsa, I couldn't find a good way to work this footage into the final film logically. But I don't want it to go to waste, and I'm kind of bummed about summer being over, so here you go. If you love fresh salsa, it is kind of fun to watch.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Promote Giant Squid Awareness!
On a related note, my band is making its debut performance tonight at the Layton Amphitheater. I plan to check the place for hidden squid before I take the stage.
That is all.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Countdown to the Debut
I'm getting kind of excited. My new band Groove Theorem is playing the Layton Amphitheater next week on the night of September 8th (a Wednesday). The show is free, and we're going to be joined by my good buddy Paul Timothy. Here's a taste of what we've been working up for the show:
Hopefully the neighbors won't complain too much...
Hopefully the neighbors won't complain too much...
Monday, August 30, 2010
Scott Pilgrim's Fabulous Light Cycle Voyage
Other than knocking out an occasional Tetris game on my outdated cell phone, I'm not what you would call a gamer. The only substantial game I've ever passed was the original "Super Mario Bro.'s" back in junior high, and the closest I've ever come to joining a LAN party is playing the plastic drums in "Rock Band." Yet I've recently seen two movies that feature video game themes as a critical part of their stories:
"Scott Pilgrim vs. the World"
I was a little nervous going into my viewing of "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World." The one preview I had seen suggested the film was going to be a bit heavy on the EMO hipster side, but in the aftermath of Pilgrim's epic battle, the only EMO quality of the film that really bothered me was the 75-pound beanie-wearing doofus sitting in front of me who kept texting through the movie.
"Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" is about a lot of things, but mostly it's about a kid who meets the girl of his dreams, then has to fight his way through a series of her "Evil Ex's" in order to date her. These fights are illustrated through the use of a video game metaphor. Each battle is presented like a fight from "Mortal Kombat," with animated point totals that pop up whenever he finishes off an opponent. Even as a non-gamer, I still think the device is the most astute true-to-life aspect of the entire film. When the dust clears, the dating game definitely feels like a battle, and along those lines, more like boxing than chess.
In spite of its branding as a box office bomb, I really enjoyed the movie. It definitely leans on the 18-22 side of the audience spectrum, but not so much that I felt completely alienated (or nauseated). Instead, the creativity of the film inspired me, and the heart of the story connected to themes and feelings that were universal, even if they were universally painful. The Beck and T-Rex-fueled soundtrack is great, which shouldn't be a surprise once you learn that the film was directed by the same guy who did "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz." Plus this movie marks the first time in memory that I've ever found myself attracted to a girl with blue, green, or purple hair.
I guess there's a first time for everything.
"Tron"
The first and only time I had seen "Tron" was at the Davis Drive-In when I was a little kid. After re-watching it last week--in anticipation of the re-boot/sequel coming out later this year--I know why. "Tron" is a cool movie, but it sails over the head of a five-year-old.
As simply as I can put it, "Tron" bounces back and forth between the "real world" and the "virtual world," where computer programs are personified by characters in neon suits who run around CGI-generated environments trying to battle a huge evil program (Master Control Program--MCP) that wants to take over the "real world" as well. At the end of the first act, Jeff Bridges gets assimilated into the virtual world, where he teams up with the programs to fight the MCP.
It makes sense to me now, but there's no way I would have grasped this as a little kid, let alone appreciated its foresight. But now that I do, I'm excited to see "Tron: Legacy" this December, and not just because the GGI is going to be so much better. Special effects aside, the philosophical concept of the original film was pioneering in its exploration of "Matrix"-like virtual reality, and it's especially interesting to note the religious metaphors and parallels that are present. Namely, the "real world" programmers are called "users" by their personified programs in the virtual world, and one of the primary philosophical battles in the virtual world centers on the debate as to whether the "users" even exist. One could even take the metaphor a step further when you realize that Jeff Bridges plays a Christ-like role in the film, as the one "user" who enters the digital world on behalf of the programs. Pretty heady stuff for Disney.
But if that's too out there, just see the new movie for the light cycles. They look way cool.
"Scott Pilgrim vs. the World"
I was a little nervous going into my viewing of "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World." The one preview I had seen suggested the film was going to be a bit heavy on the EMO hipster side, but in the aftermath of Pilgrim's epic battle, the only EMO quality of the film that really bothered me was the 75-pound beanie-wearing doofus sitting in front of me who kept texting through the movie.
In spite of its branding as a box office bomb, I really enjoyed the movie. It definitely leans on the 18-22 side of the audience spectrum, but not so much that I felt completely alienated (or nauseated). Instead, the creativity of the film inspired me, and the heart of the story connected to themes and feelings that were universal, even if they were universally painful. The Beck and T-Rex-fueled soundtrack is great, which shouldn't be a surprise once you learn that the film was directed by the same guy who did "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz." Plus this movie marks the first time in memory that I've ever found myself attracted to a girl with blue, green, or purple hair.
I guess there's a first time for everything.
"Tron"
The first and only time I had seen "Tron" was at the Davis Drive-In when I was a little kid. After re-watching it last week--in anticipation of the re-boot/sequel coming out later this year--I know why. "Tron" is a cool movie, but it sails over the head of a five-year-old.
It makes sense to me now, but there's no way I would have grasped this as a little kid, let alone appreciated its foresight. But now that I do, I'm excited to see "Tron: Legacy" this December, and not just because the GGI is going to be so much better. Special effects aside, the philosophical concept of the original film was pioneering in its exploration of "Matrix"-like virtual reality, and it's especially interesting to note the religious metaphors and parallels that are present. Namely, the "real world" programmers are called "users" by their personified programs in the virtual world, and one of the primary philosophical battles in the virtual world centers on the debate as to whether the "users" even exist. One could even take the metaphor a step further when you realize that Jeff Bridges plays a Christ-like role in the film, as the one "user" who enters the digital world on behalf of the programs. Pretty heady stuff for Disney.
But if that's too out there, just see the new movie for the light cycles. They look way cool.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Wounded Mosquito Productions Internship!
This week, across the country, hundreds of millions of bright-eyed youngsters are starting a brand-new semester of college, in many cases, for the first time. But in these days of intense competition and uncertain economic climate changes, a degree will only take you so far, and many employers are looking for something extra in prospective employees. That is why, in the proud tradition of Dunder Mifflin and Kramerica Industries, Wounded Mosquito Productions has decided to offer its first-ever official internship* for the Fall 2010 semester.
Description
The Wounded Mosquito Internship will give one successful candidate a variety of genuine, real-world professional experiences, including (but not limited to) the vast world of modern media, the behind-the-curtain world of modern academia, and the ever-changing tasty world of local culinary establishments. The intern will function side-by-side with the company President and CEO to execute and maintain the high quality standards of Wounded Mosquito Productions. (Specific high quality standards of Wounded Mosquito Productions subject to change).
Specific responsibilities include:
The selected candidate must:
The ideal candidate will be:
This is an unpaid internship, and Wounded Mosquito Productions does not offer college credit, at least any that would be accepted by an accredited institution. (At the same time, candidate does not need to be enrolled at an accredited institution to qualify for internship. Candidate can be in massage therapy school, for example). Company will provide successful candidate with her own parking space. At the conclusion of the internship, candidate will receive autographed certificate of completion and photo with President/CEO. They may go out to dinner or something, too.
Instructions
If you are interested in applying for this position, please send a resume and head shot to intern_thing@woundedmosquito.com. A representative of Wounded Mosquito Productions will contact you if the President/CEO wants to bring you in for an interview, or just meet you downtown to grab a burger or something. President/CEO may decide to bring on multiple candidates depending on professional and social needs.
---
*Satire.
Description
Specific responsibilities include:
- Waking President/CEO up in morning
- Preparing breakfast for President/CEO (or lunch, depending on circumstance)
- Texting friends/associates of President/CEO to make social plans for weekend
- Surfing Internet to look for ideas/clients for President/CEO
- Grading English papers for the President/CEO while he does other stuff
- Running the iPod while driving to shoots with President/CEO
- Attending functions with President/CEO, such as Jazz games and afternoon matinees
- Driving company vehicle if President/CEO is way pooped after a long day
- Assisting the President/CEO with important scientific experiments, like testing new salsa or smoothie recipes
- Remembering stuff that President/CEO often forgets, like turning off the stove before leaving the house
The selected candidate must:
- Speak/write/recognize English
- Be high school graduate, or thereabouts
- Be able to cook pretty well
- Be able to write stuff fast in case President/CEO starts getting lots of ideas really quick
- Be able to drive a manual transmission
- Have a clean driving record, or at least a cleaner one than President/CEO
- Be able to understand satire
The ideal candidate will be:
- Female
- Single
- Into cool stuff, like music and food
- Smart with a cool personality...and hot, too
- A former athletic trainer (President/CEO needs to lose about 15-20 pounds)
- Not way taller than President/CEO
- Willing to put up with President/CEO's eccentric-genius habits
Instructions
If you are interested in applying for this position, please send a resume and head shot to intern_thing@woundedmosquito.com. A representative of Wounded Mosquito Productions will contact you if the President/CEO wants to bring you in for an interview, or just meet you downtown to grab a burger or something. President/CEO may decide to bring on multiple candidates depending on professional and social needs.
---
*Satire.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Defending Ray
Three years ago my sister and I drove a thousand miles to Comic-Con to meet Ray Bradbury. His work was that important to us...plus, at 87 years old, we worried that if we missed our chance he might not be around to give us another opportunity.
Three years later, Ray is still alive and well, and back in the news. Just shy of his 90th birthday, Bradbury is none too pleased with modern technology. Specifically, he hates the Internet, Kindle, Big Government, and thinks we should go back to the Moon (and on to Mars). People have been giving him grief for his apparent techno-phobia, especially because his phrasing of terms (IE, referring to "Internets" instead of "Internet") makes him come off like a senile old crank. But I think his critics are missing the point of his message.
Ray Bradbury may not have a perfect technological understanding of the things he is criticizing, but 90 years old or not, I think he still gets it. In spite of the futuristic, sci-fi element of much of his work (he defines himself as a fantasy writer, for the record), Bradbury's stories have always found their greatest strength in their humanity. And for all the obvious advantages that modern technology affords us, over-reliance on it can take a heavy toll on that humanity. Bradbury understands this, and I think this is why he says the things he says.
Digital technology can open wonderful doors of imagination, whether it comes in the form of a camera or a blog or a software program, but it also lets us be lazy if we want to. You don't have to be a great photographer to take good-looking photographs, and you don't have to be a great web designer to drop some text into a template and hit "publish."
Cell phones and text messaging can be great for staying in contact with friends, but all too often I see groups of friends ignoring each other while they text the friends that aren't there. Facebook and other social media allow us to reconnect with friends we've lost touch with over the years, but trolling someone's profile page and making occasional comments on their vacation photos doesn't create a depth of relationship. It just suggests its presence.
I thought it was interesting that this summer's biggest movie is built around a question about our perception of reality. "Inception" has plenty of cool special effects and an open-ended plot that keeps you guessing, but the film resonates with me because it points the finger at one of the central issues of our time: are we using technology to make genuine connections with the people around us, or are we letting it alienate us even further by using it to create our own personal cocoons of perceived reality?
Ray Bradbury made his career writing about Martians and dinosaurs, but he can also demonstrate the simple profundity of sitting on a deck with a cold drink while the sounds of nature connect you to the meaning of life. He champions the genuine article over the synthetic, and in the sci-fi/fantasy genre, he's not alone. When he rants that we have "too many Internets," I think that's what he's afraid we're losing.
Three years later, Ray is still alive and well, and back in the news. Just shy of his 90th birthday, Bradbury is none too pleased with modern technology. Specifically, he hates the Internet, Kindle, Big Government, and thinks we should go back to the Moon (and on to Mars). People have been giving him grief for his apparent techno-phobia, especially because his phrasing of terms (IE, referring to "Internets" instead of "Internet") makes him come off like a senile old crank. But I think his critics are missing the point of his message.
Digital technology can open wonderful doors of imagination, whether it comes in the form of a camera or a blog or a software program, but it also lets us be lazy if we want to. You don't have to be a great photographer to take good-looking photographs, and you don't have to be a great web designer to drop some text into a template and hit "publish."
Cell phones and text messaging can be great for staying in contact with friends, but all too often I see groups of friends ignoring each other while they text the friends that aren't there. Facebook and other social media allow us to reconnect with friends we've lost touch with over the years, but trolling someone's profile page and making occasional comments on their vacation photos doesn't create a depth of relationship. It just suggests its presence.
I thought it was interesting that this summer's biggest movie is built around a question about our perception of reality. "Inception" has plenty of cool special effects and an open-ended plot that keeps you guessing, but the film resonates with me because it points the finger at one of the central issues of our time: are we using technology to make genuine connections with the people around us, or are we letting it alienate us even further by using it to create our own personal cocoons of perceived reality?
Ray Bradbury made his career writing about Martians and dinosaurs, but he can also demonstrate the simple profundity of sitting on a deck with a cold drink while the sounds of nature connect you to the meaning of life. He champions the genuine article over the synthetic, and in the sci-fi/fantasy genre, he's not alone. When he rants that we have "too many Internets," I think that's what he's afraid we're losing.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
My 2010 Road Trip By the Numbers
1,800: Approximate mileage of the entire road trip, starting in Bountiful, north to Yellowstone, east to Devils Tower (and then Mount Rushmore), south to Nebraska, and west on I-80 to home.
583: Photos taken on the trip.
867: Number of dead bug bodies that are still blasted across the front of my car.
30+: Gas mileage for the trip.
6: States I covered during the trip, including Utah, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, and thanks to my GPS, Nebraska.
3: Fridge magnets I picked up to commemorate the trip.
2: National Parks I drove through (Yellowstone and Wind Cave).
650: Pound-weight of the boulder my friends and I rolled into Quake Lake on Sunday afternoon because we got bored with skipping rocks.
1.5: Rainbows that showed up at Devils Tower the evening I arrived.
.42 Percentage of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" that I watched on my laptop inside the borrowed tent I had set up in the dark in a $12 camping spot under the tower while a windstorm tried to blow me away.
9: Deer I encountered at 5:45AM while driving in for some sunrise shots of Devils Tower.
117: Extra miles tacked onto the total trip because my GPS told me to go south into Nebraska after Mount Rushmore instead of cut diagonally across Wyoming like the Google Maps thing suggested.
75: Times I had to hit the brakes, deactivate my cruise control and drop 20MPH because a clump of semis were trying to pass each other and blocking both highway lanes.
8: Times AT&T dropped my call home along I-80 while my parents were trying to help me research room prices for Wyoming motels.
0: Dead bodies under my motel bed in Rawlins, Wyoming. (If you'd been there, you'd have been excited, too.)
7: Times I wondered whether I should make an extra spin north to Maddox once I emerged from I-84 just south of Ogden before completing the journey home, because their burgers are just so darn good.
583: Photos taken on the trip.
867: Number of dead bug bodies that are still blasted across the front of my car.
30+: Gas mileage for the trip.
6: States I covered during the trip, including Utah, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, and thanks to my GPS, Nebraska.
3: Fridge magnets I picked up to commemorate the trip.
2: National Parks I drove through (Yellowstone and Wind Cave).
5: Times I wondered if I should have ordered two burgers instead of just one at Maddox on the way up, because they're just so darn good.
15: Mph rate posted on the new speed limit signs along the dirt road by my family cabin.
1: Batch of fresh salsa I made at the family cabin, officially kicking off the fresh salsa season.
1,000: Number of people in attendance at the Island Park Ward sacrament meeting.
650: Pound-weight of the boulder my friends and I rolled into Quake Lake on Sunday afternoon because we got bored with skipping rocks.
1.5: Rainbows that showed up at Devils Tower the evening I arrived.
.42 Percentage of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" that I watched on my laptop inside the borrowed tent I had set up in the dark in a $12 camping spot under the tower while a windstorm tried to blow me away.
9: Deer I encountered at 5:45AM while driving in for some sunrise shots of Devils Tower.
17,000: Bikers I encountered on highways between Devils Tower, Wyoming and Custer, South Dakota, thanks to the annual biker rally in Sturgis which was taking place the same week.
17,000+: Bikers I encountered while cruising the main drag in Sturgis, which is located just off I-90 in-between Devils Tower and Mount Rushmore.
18: Length of the horns (in inches) that were sticking out of the helmet of one of the swarm of bikers that visited Mount Rushmore with me.
7: Times I encountered the Biker Mama of My Dreams at the Mount Rushmore Gift Shop, but failed to speak to hear out of fear that she would stick me with a shiv.
117: Extra miles tacked onto the total trip because my GPS told me to go south into Nebraska after Mount Rushmore instead of cut diagonally across Wyoming like the Google Maps thing suggested.
75: Times I had to hit the brakes, deactivate my cruise control and drop 20MPH because a clump of semis were trying to pass each other and blocking both highway lanes.
8: Times AT&T dropped my call home along I-80 while my parents were trying to help me research room prices for Wyoming motels.
0: Dead bodies under my motel bed in Rawlins, Wyoming. (If you'd been there, you'd have been excited, too.)
7: Times I wondered whether I should make an extra spin north to Maddox once I emerged from I-84 just south of Ogden before completing the journey home, because their burgers are just so darn good.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Double Rainbow at Devils Tower
Yesterday I finished a road trip that covered 1,800 miles through six states in six days. Along the way I stayed a night at Devils Tower in northeastern Wyoming, and just before I arrived, I caught this off the highway.
I dropped the sound for the first several seconds because a Marvin Gaye song was playing on the car stereo in the background, and YouTube sends me these threatening e-mails whenever I post something that has external music on it. You know, because YouTube is a champion of copyright honesty.
Friday, August 06, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Dream Lives...
Yeah, so remember that piece I wrote a while back about all of my one-gig stands with different garage bands? Remember how I told you about the newest one that actually had some potential to go somewhere?
It never really went anywhere.
But that's just the bad news. The good news is I'm in another band, and this time we really have a chance to go somewhere! Honest! A few months ago my buddy Dan (the guy standing up in this clip) recruited me into a blues band he was forming. I joined up, we started playing with these two guys Matt and Chris up in Kaysville (the source of all true blues), my buddy Dustin invited us to open for his band at a bar called The Fifth in Bountiful, the Fifth dumped us all for a radio promotion, Chris left for law school, we picked up a new bass player named Ryan, named ourselves Groove Theorem, and decided to rent out the Layton Amphitheater and put on our own gig in September.
So...
On Wednesday night, September 8th, at the Layton Amphitheater, Groove Theorem will make their public debut, with special guest Paul Timothy (the guy sitting down in this clip). The performance is free of charge (the rental would have cost us twice as much if we had sold tickets, which didn't seem promising being our first gig and all), and will wrap up before 9PM, so you really don't have any excuses to miss it. It's a perfect way to cap off your summer, or just continue the epic Labor Day Party you have been riding for 72 hours.
See you there.
It never really went anywhere.
But that's just the bad news. The good news is I'm in another band, and this time we really have a chance to go somewhere! Honest! A few months ago my buddy Dan (the guy standing up in this clip) recruited me into a blues band he was forming. I joined up, we started playing with these two guys Matt and Chris up in Kaysville (the source of all true blues), my buddy Dustin invited us to open for his band at a bar called The Fifth in Bountiful, the Fifth dumped us all for a radio promotion, Chris left for law school, we picked up a new bass player named Ryan, named ourselves Groove Theorem, and decided to rent out the Layton Amphitheater and put on our own gig in September.
So...
On Wednesday night, September 8th, at the Layton Amphitheater, Groove Theorem will make their public debut, with special guest Paul Timothy (the guy sitting down in this clip). The performance is free of charge (the rental would have cost us twice as much if we had sold tickets, which didn't seem promising being our first gig and all), and will wrap up before 9PM, so you really don't have any excuses to miss it. It's a perfect way to cap off your summer, or just continue the epic Labor Day Party you have been riding for 72 hours.
See you there.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
An Open Letter to LeBron James
Dear LeBron,
I just wanted to write and say thank-you for the last two weeks. No, seriously. Summer is typically a sports wasteland for me. I'm not a baseball guy, not a tennis guy, and definitely not a golf guy. The World Cup is OK, and football is still a ways off. So it was nice to have a constant stream of NBA-related news on ESPN. And from what I can tell, that stream isn't about to dry up anytime soon.
What's even better is that the Jazz got in on the big show, too. I never figured you'd consider making Salt Lake City ground zero for your magic kingdom, but I was excited that Kevin O'Connor got Big Al Jefferson and Raja "Clothesline" Bell into Jazz uniforms. For a while there I thought the only Utah moves were going to be all of our unrestricted guys signing with the Bulls.
Speaking of which, if you had to leave Cleveland, why didn't you pick Chicago? I think we can all understand why New York or New Jersey were dubious options (not to mention the career-ending decapitation/ACL tear that awaited you in Clipper-Land), but between Miami and Chicago, it seems to me that The Windy City held a lot more long-term potential. Really, why wouldn't you want to play with this guy?
I get it if you just want to be able to play with your best friends. It's your career; why wouldn't you want to spend it in the most enjoyable environment? But that's where things get confusing. Do you want to win titles and play with your friends, or do you want to be the Greatest Player of Post-Jordan Times? Because going to Miami suggests the former, and leaving through a live TV special suggests the latter.
That's why the last two weeks has been so interesting for me. It would be easy to just brush you off as another ego-maniac pro athlete, but there are too many angles to your story to dismiss it. The Hometown Betrayal angle. The Superfriends angle. The Greatest Teammate vs. Greatest Player angle. In the blink of an eye you went from beloved hero to Public Enemy #1. You turned the Heat into the East Coast Lakers. You made Kobe likable. At least MJ waited until his Hall of Fame speech to poop all over his legacy. And now he's turned on you, too.
But don't get me wrong; aside from the way you treated my mom's hometown, I'd have to say that overall I'm pretty happy with what you brought to the table this summer. And I can honestly say that I can't wait for next season.
Give my best to the boys.
Love,
Josh
I just wanted to write and say thank-you for the last two weeks. No, seriously. Summer is typically a sports wasteland for me. I'm not a baseball guy, not a tennis guy, and definitely not a golf guy. The World Cup is OK, and football is still a ways off. So it was nice to have a constant stream of NBA-related news on ESPN. And from what I can tell, that stream isn't about to dry up anytime soon.
What's even better is that the Jazz got in on the big show, too. I never figured you'd consider making Salt Lake City ground zero for your magic kingdom, but I was excited that Kevin O'Connor got Big Al Jefferson and Raja "Clothesline" Bell into Jazz uniforms. For a while there I thought the only Utah moves were going to be all of our unrestricted guys signing with the Bulls.
I get it if you just want to be able to play with your best friends. It's your career; why wouldn't you want to spend it in the most enjoyable environment? But that's where things get confusing. Do you want to win titles and play with your friends, or do you want to be the Greatest Player of Post-Jordan Times? Because going to Miami suggests the former, and leaving through a live TV special suggests the latter.
That's why the last two weeks has been so interesting for me. It would be easy to just brush you off as another ego-maniac pro athlete, but there are too many angles to your story to dismiss it. The Hometown Betrayal angle. The Superfriends angle. The Greatest Teammate vs. Greatest Player angle. In the blink of an eye you went from beloved hero to Public Enemy #1. You turned the Heat into the East Coast Lakers. You made Kobe likable. At least MJ waited until his Hall of Fame speech to poop all over his legacy. And now he's turned on you, too.
But don't get me wrong; aside from the way you treated my mom's hometown, I'd have to say that overall I'm pretty happy with what you brought to the table this summer. And I can honestly say that I can't wait for next season.
Give my best to the boys.
Love,
Josh
Thursday, July 08, 2010
A Few Thoughts on Lawn Care
I hear a lot of the same questions over and over again...
Where do you get your ideas?
Are you on drugs?
Do you want me to call the police?
Another one came up recently at the Yogurt Stop in Bountiful. A dozen of us were innocently enjoying our custom made pay-by-the-ounce desserts when a girl in the group sent the conversation onto a random tangent:
"Is it OK for girls to ask guys out on dates?"
About half the guys in the group grumbled slightly, and the other half shook our heads. Then came an empty awkward silence that said far more than anything we could have verbalized.
When it comes to dating, I often feel like a third-world dictator. I only have a fleeting grasp on a small corner of a very big world, but I will cling desperately to that corner until I am assassinated. I can't choose which girls will respond to my interest, but at least I can choose who to invite.
This may sound sexist in our modern world, and maybe it is, but the simple truth is that if I am interested in someone, I will ask them out. If I'm not, I won't.
Now, there are alternatives, especially if like most girls you are convinced that the only reason the man in your sights hasn't asked you out is because he is too shy to pull the trigger. If you want to encourage interest, speak to him in public situations. Laugh at his lame jokes. Follow his blog. Better yet, invite him to a party or some kind of group activity. Just don't cut his grass. If you ask him out, he'll think, "hey, isn't that my job? I feel like I am being metaphorically kicked in my man parts." And an empty awkward silence will follow.
We don't want to get kicked in our man parts. We just want to rule Cuba in peace.
Where do you get your ideas?
Are you on drugs?
Do you want me to call the police?
Another one came up recently at the Yogurt Stop in Bountiful. A dozen of us were innocently enjoying our custom made pay-by-the-ounce desserts when a girl in the group sent the conversation onto a random tangent:
"Is it OK for girls to ask guys out on dates?"
About half the guys in the group grumbled slightly, and the other half shook our heads. Then came an empty awkward silence that said far more than anything we could have verbalized.
This may sound sexist in our modern world, and maybe it is, but the simple truth is that if I am interested in someone, I will ask them out. If I'm not, I won't.
Now, there are alternatives, especially if like most girls you are convinced that the only reason the man in your sights hasn't asked you out is because he is too shy to pull the trigger. If you want to encourage interest, speak to him in public situations. Laugh at his lame jokes. Follow his blog. Better yet, invite him to a party or some kind of group activity. Just don't cut his grass. If you ask him out, he'll think, "hey, isn't that my job? I feel like I am being metaphorically kicked in my man parts." And an empty awkward silence will follow.
We don't want to get kicked in our man parts. We just want to rule Cuba in peace.
Saturday, July 03, 2010
A Kiss that Fell Short of Greatness
Call it an impulse buy.
Last night--technically really early this morning--after a rare viewing of "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey," I downloaded a Kiss song. Not a make-out song, a Kiss song. Meaning the band. Kiss.
It was the first time I've ever downloaded a Kiss song.
See, in spite of their stature among the icons of late 1970's/early 1980's Classic Rock--an era I have mined repeatedly--I've never been much of a Kiss fan. Mostly because I expected more from them.
Allow me to explain:
My first exposure to Kiss came during a family trip to Cleveland, Ohio when I was somewhere in the neighborhood of five years old. My mom's side of the family lives out there, and while hanging out with my cousin Jamie (who was about twelve years old, if I remember right) I discovered half a dozen Kiss albums in his bedroom.
The album covers astounded me. If the makeup and costumes and overall evil appearance of the albums was any indicator, the music should have come straight from the bowels of Hell itself. It was almost scary. It was also kind of cool.
My cousin never actually played the albums for me, though. We were too preoccupied with his Atari. Instead, I went on to have my Beatles phase in elementary school, and my unfortunate pop phase in junior high, before cementing my Classic Rock roots in high school. I picked up a CD compilation of Classic Rock hits because I desperately wanted a copy of "Sunshine of Your Love," and the disc also happened to have a Kiss track: "Rock and Roll All Nite."
I wasn't impressed. I thought Kiss would have produced the darkest, edgiest music ever, but instead I got this bizarre power-pop rock that kind of felt like it would have been better suited for a Broadway stage. It turns out Kiss was a lot more Butt Rock than Classic Rock. More Motley Crue than Led Zeppelin. Too bad.
I do have to give them credit for the costumes, though. They definitely took Bowie to the next level. And given that my first exposure to them came at the same time "Star Wars" was shaping my young mind, it's safe to say that Kiss may have played a small part in the formation of my lifelong interest in the visual arts. I just didn't dig the actual product that much.
So why did I download "God Gave Rock and Roll To You" last night? I don't know. For the same reason I downloaded "Pour Some Sugar On Me" or "Rock and Roll Heaven" by the Righteous Brothers. Music serves a lot of different purposes. Sometimes corny 80's rock anthems just sound right.
Bill and Ted would probably agree.
Last night--technically really early this morning--after a rare viewing of "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey," I downloaded a Kiss song. Not a make-out song, a Kiss song. Meaning the band. Kiss.
It was the first time I've ever downloaded a Kiss song.
See, in spite of their stature among the icons of late 1970's/early 1980's Classic Rock--an era I have mined repeatedly--I've never been much of a Kiss fan. Mostly because I expected more from them.
Allow me to explain:
My first exposure to Kiss came during a family trip to Cleveland, Ohio when I was somewhere in the neighborhood of five years old. My mom's side of the family lives out there, and while hanging out with my cousin Jamie (who was about twelve years old, if I remember right) I discovered half a dozen Kiss albums in his bedroom.
My cousin never actually played the albums for me, though. We were too preoccupied with his Atari. Instead, I went on to have my Beatles phase in elementary school, and my unfortunate pop phase in junior high, before cementing my Classic Rock roots in high school. I picked up a CD compilation of Classic Rock hits because I desperately wanted a copy of "Sunshine of Your Love," and the disc also happened to have a Kiss track: "Rock and Roll All Nite."
I wasn't impressed. I thought Kiss would have produced the darkest, edgiest music ever, but instead I got this bizarre power-pop rock that kind of felt like it would have been better suited for a Broadway stage. It turns out Kiss was a lot more Butt Rock than Classic Rock. More Motley Crue than Led Zeppelin. Too bad.
I do have to give them credit for the costumes, though. They definitely took Bowie to the next level. And given that my first exposure to them came at the same time "Star Wars" was shaping my young mind, it's safe to say that Kiss may have played a small part in the formation of my lifelong interest in the visual arts. I just didn't dig the actual product that much.
Bill and Ted would probably agree.
Friday, July 02, 2010
Tornado Delay
I have no idea what this commentator is saying, but it's probably something along the lines of, "this is awesome. This is way awesome."
Thursday, July 01, 2010
Bona Fide
It's official. Next January I am going to be an uncle. A real one.
Beast Wench is having a kid.
Up until now, I have happily served as an auxiliary uncle to several of my close friends' children, with mixed results. I'm not sure all of them really know who I am. But in January, all that will end. My sister--my only sibling--will have a baby, and I will finally be bona-fide.
Coming from a small family, this is a big deal. Most of my friends have been aunts or uncles for a long time now.* I have a lot of important life experience to pass on, and it will be nice to finally have someone around who is genetically obligated to listen to me. While my sister and brother-in-law labor to provide food and shelter for their newborn, I will be there to cover the important stuff. Namely, to make sure the child grows up a devoted follower of the Utah Jazz, and that he/she sees "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" at a young age, long before the kids at school ruin the experience by doing all the best lines in bad British accents. I'll be there to block the influence of country music, and to let the glory of Tom Jones shine in.
It's gonna be a blast.
---
*Yes, I realize that most of my friends have also moved on to give birth to their own children, but from what I can tell, being an uncle is the better gig. It's kind of like being Vice President: your name is on the ticket, you share in the glory and the prestige, but you really don't have to do anything.
Beast Wench is having a kid.
Up until now, I have happily served as an auxiliary uncle to several of my close friends' children, with mixed results. I'm not sure all of them really know who I am. But in January, all that will end. My sister--my only sibling--will have a baby, and I will finally be bona-fide.
It's gonna be a blast.
---
*Yes, I realize that most of my friends have also moved on to give birth to their own children, but from what I can tell, being an uncle is the better gig. It's kind of like being Vice President: your name is on the ticket, you share in the glory and the prestige, but you really don't have to do anything.
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